an allegory, or, this morning's sunrise

i woke up this morning to sit and watch God begin the day. i walked about 40 yards behind our house, across the elementary school courtyard and sat on a big rock by the trees next to the cemetary. i was a little disappointed that the Eastern horizon was shadowed with clouds. because of this, the beginning of the sunrise was not as spectacular as i had hoped. i couldn’t see the sun but i could see it brightening the clouds to my right and left with soft shades of pink and orange. these objects in my periphery were made beautiful by the sun, even though i couldn’t see it. then i started to see the sun a little more directly. there was a sort of window between the clouds that was filled with golden light. like the clouds on the periphery, the borders of the box were lit by the sun but much more dramatically. the edges were etched in brilliance, their soft lines cut into diamond edges. finally, only after the sun had made these ordinary clouds things of beauty and majesty did it show itself. it was almost as if i had to see the sun in other things before i could see it directly. once it peeked through, though, it eclipsed all with the power of its light. its brilliance made me cast my eyes down. soon the sun had lit all around. i could see everything. not only that, but clouds that had appeared dark, gray, and ominous before were now shown to be harmless puffy white clouds. the sun had stripped them of their malevolent nature and shown them to be nothing to be feared.

i hoard chalk

there is a definite chalk shortage at assumption high school, here in the lovely marshall islands. its a dog eat dog world out there, survival of the fittest. what does this mean? well, at assumption, teachers rotate to the classes. each class has its own room and the teachers move around. when i am done teaching a class, i clean out the chalk trays. i take every piece i can or i will run out and not be able to write on the board. i hide them in my desk. once someone took chalk out of my desk. i consider this a breach of the rules of the chalk famine. pants pockets and desk drawers should be strictly off limits. sometimes i forget to take the chalk out of my pockets. then i'm stuck walking around with a whole bunch of chalk stumps rattling around in my pocket. this is not a pretty sight.

things are good in majuro. i have read 10 whole books since i left the states. i am over halfway done with Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, which might be my favorite one so far. i have started writing stories and junk. i am playing guitar alot. i am getting up early in the morning to pray and center myself. also, after drinking too much coffee for the first month or so, i decided to give it up for a while. i don't need that stuff to be me!! i haven't had a cup since monday and i am feeling OK with it...althought im not sure how much longer it will last. i am feeling like a real teacher. i even refer to myself as such to my students: "now, if you have any questions, you're in luck. this is biology class. i am a biology teacher. so i might be able to help you."

the feast of the assumption, or, sister act

"and now, to close our feast day mass, the youth choir will favor us with the 'ave maria.'"

the first verse is traditional enough, but then theres a lull after it. shannon and i look at each other "they aren't really going to....they aren't going to....oh yes they are!"

oh yes they did. as is true of more than a few occasions in the month (holy crap!) i've been here, i could not stop smiling. the full on sister act version of the hymn was complete with the high "oh-oh-oh" part sung by the little red haired nun-in-training and the low "sanctus santuses" of the older sistas. majuro never ceases to surprise with little flashes of colour.*

a week later we listened to the version from the film using shannon's ipod and speakers (white priveledge, i know...simple living?) and sang along. there were some kids who were playing behind our house and some of them peeped in the window...one of them gave an "AMEN!" after it was over.

as it is september a mass e-mail will find its way to inboxes the world over sometime soon
hugs,
aaron

*thats right, i spell it the british way.

disregard my alarm clock, or, the sounds that wake me up

the sounds that gently beckon me from sleep are 2 of the most beautiful sounds in the whole world. here they are, in no particular order:

1) the soft static of the pacific as its infinite waves lap against coral

2) the laughter of children

shake my head and smile, or, absurdity

in the past week, i have been increasingly aware of a certain absurdity that cloaks everything. (if thats not a blanket statement, i don't know what is) in america, this absurdity takes the form of people trying to fill a spiritual or emotional hole with things never meant to fill them. posessions won't make you any more aware and celebratory of your true nature as a human being then pouring alcohol down your gullet will. i mean absurdity not in a rude way, "thats simply absurd!" but in a when-you-really-think-about-it, it-makes-you-chuckle-and-shake-your-head kinda way. the thought that being happy starts anywhere but inside us is sad. it makes me want to sign.

the absurdity here is different. it stems from the fact that we are all here, living on coral gorwn on the rim of a submerged volcano a couple thousand miles from the nearerst real land. why is this place here? how have people been living on it for more than 2,000 years? what made it worth settling? its a precarious place to live, without the size to support large-scale agriculture or populations of large food animals. the absurdity is that it is here, that it is home to 60,000 souls and, even more, that i'm here. i step out of my classroom, turn one way and see the bright blue lagoon, and turn the other and see the deeper sapphire of the pacific. all i can do is smile and shake my head; shake my head and smile.

a beautiful moment at 30,000 ft, welcome to the next 2 years, and getting up to date

“what the eff am i doing?”
“by the hammer of thor, where am i?”
“great scott, what was i thinking?”
these thoughts and more were tangled like noodles in my skull as i flew from honolulu to majuro; the last leg of my journey to the marshall islands. i had just popped the ear phones from the in-flight movie from my ears and turned to the window next to me. there were thin, gauzy clouds above and fat, puffy ones below. there were white dots in the ocean far below that I thought were maybe fish or dolphins, but they were everywhere so i decided they must be the sun glinting off the tips of waves. my lost feelings were not soothed by the blue and white, however. then i spied, coming from the bottom of one of the low flying puffy clouds a rainbow. a rainbow. a rainbow going straight down from the cloud to the ocean. a small rainbow. i remembered God’s deal with Noah, that God would not abandon God’s people. my thoughts quickly raced from that story to whatever psalm or psalms talk about how God does not forsake God’s people. i belong to God. God will not let me perish. i trust in God and God has my back. let nothing and no one stand in my way!! (these are a bit out of character for me to think, if you know my spirituality…maybe i’ve been spending too much time in catholic volunteer programs)

nothing stood in my way as i descended the stair to the ground of the majuro atoll of the marshall islands. it was hot but not as hot as i was readying myself for. it smelled weird but not as weird as i thought it might. it was dirty but not as filthy as i thought it could be. the two second year members of my jvi community were there to meet me and the two other first years. mike and emily, meet shannon, bridget, and aaron. this is the marshall islands jvi community for the next 10 months. we’re what happens when 5 substances collide.

that first night, mike and emily drove us to the other end of the island to have a sunset picnic. i put pictures of it up on my photos link, which i have endeavored to set up. hope it works for ya. the next days and days have been spent getting acclimated to the island. our house is what it is supposed to be; a house in the third world. its neither clean nor particularly filthy. it is simple and adequate. i don’t think many would call it comfortable. but it is walls and a roof and serves its purpose.

this week has been full of preparing for school, which starts monday, august 13. i will be teaching two classes of freshman english and 2 classes of sophomore biology. i am also in charge of a freshman homeroom. assumption high school has a strange way of getting ready for the school year. every day there were to be meetings at 9 am. we head over more or less on time (the school is about 30 yards from the house). we wait. and wait. and wait. after maybe an hour and a half, someone will declare that the meeting has been cancelled or moved to the next day. this happened 3 of the 5 days this week.

in the interest of not writing a novel, i will close by saying that i am safe and healthy. well, except for the urinary infection that i incurred on monday. blood was coming out somewhere it wasn’t supposed to. not a lot, just a little. I saw the doctor. before giving me the pills that cleared it up in no time he made sure to ask the following question several times: “have you been using the women? it’s very important. have you been using the women?”

see you soon

you can't spell Camden without end...or dance

today is my last day of work. it has been a good year and in spite of the challenges, it has been a good placement. the relationships i formed with the residents here have been the best part. from the sweet ones to the cranky ones, they have made this job what it was.

the past few weeks have been a flurry of activity; i have been about as stressed as i ever get. i'm not really nervous, but more preoccupied with all the loose ends to tie before i leave, and there are many. i have a list that i've been slowly making my way through...two lists actually: one, things to do; one, people to talk to. i'm afraid the more important list, composed of human relationships, is the more time consuming by far.

although it is hard to leave camden and my community here, there is a great feeling building as well; a feeling of kindred spirits spread out across the globe. it is comforting, easy, and a great thing indeed to be surrounded by those you love. however, it is also good to feel a part of a great network, knowing that you have friends all over and that when you are lucky enough to share time, a meal, a cup of coffee with them you can reconnect with what brought you together in the first place.

people ask how i'm feeling about all this. i feel alot of things. i feel sad to leave camden and my community. i feel excited to start something new. i feel a little nervous because i have no idea what to expect besides shapeless challenges. i feel at peace with not having a clue what to expect. i feel lucky to have the support of so many loving friends and family. i feel humbled by the same. i feel torn between the great needs that exist right here in camden and the call i feel to serve in another culture. i could go on...

tomorrow we are hosting a bbq and party at the house as a last hurrah of sorts. sunday is my birthday. monday i have the whole day to do some last minute preparations. tuesday a new chapter begins.

my tooth fell out while i was eating a panini yesterday. don't worry, i put it back. the tooth. not the panini.