these are some thoughts i wrote down about christmas a year ago

i thought alot about christmas; what it means to me.
it is God showing us what its all about. God, Emmanuel, comes to us, enters into our midst not at the head of a host, but in the most vulnerable, marginalized context possible: in a backwater region, to a homeless family, as a normal baby. what could be more humble?

i think the message is that if this homeless baby can speak truth to power, so should someone born to ease (even though that ease is the product of the injustice we are meant to cry out against). little baby jesus didn't have alot going for him: young mother, poor, people living under an oppressive imperial yoke. yet despite all this, jesus actualized that potential within each of us to be people of God. whats more, he tells us exactly how to do it. if that baby can go on to inspire us, what excuse do i have not to do God's work? with supportive family, friends, and most importantly the power of an education (the most powerful tool imaginable).

in other words, the message of christmas is that we all start somewhere. our origins are important, but in some ways they are irrelevant. everyone has the same potential to change the world and be the hands that build God's kingdom. its just a matter of actualizing that potential by seeking God. be still. listen. be open. God is there.

failures of power and another sort

the 2nd quarter ended last week. i'm not sure what happened, it was here and then all of a sudden its gone. it was a pretty good quarter. i became much more comfortable in the classroom and efficient in preparing to be in it. keeping that unlruly class in line is a bit easier now as i have a better idea of what works and what doesn't. i've also had success "breaking through" to some students. there were some that wouldn't talk to me for the first few months of school and now they do. although i still have stacks of grading to do, it feels good to have the first half of the i make it sound nice and smooth, but last week was a bit bumpy. the rough draft of the final paper for my freshman english class was due on monday and more than 2/3 of them didn't feel like doing it so i sent the whole lot of them to sandy, the principal's office. she made them stay after school until they finished it, which for some was after 6:00. so they have their rough drafts done, but the night before the revised paper was due, the power was out so none of them could type it. which is why i am in the school computer lab now, 10:00 am, christmas eve morning. of course the hitch is that so far none of the students have shown up to finish their papers. i have about half of them and many of the students who didn't hand theirs in yet probably won't bother to at all, which means that they have a good chance of failing. i don't like giving F's, but when students won't pay attention in class or do their work, what am i supposed to do? there were 3 kids who hadn't turned in any homework all quarter. one of them was already dismissed for disciplinary reasons and one of the others is on her final warning. one slip and shes "fired," as they say here.

the power has been going out alot lately, sometimes it is announced and sometimes its unexpected. a few weeks ago it went out without warning and there was a rumor that the power plant exploded. it kept going out in the final weeks of the quarter and everyone got a little nervous with having to prepare and copy exams in time. also, its hard to cook dinner without power. although its an inconvenience, it certainly isn't that big of a deal. the flow of electricity in majuro is pretty reliable compared to some other places.

the assumption faculty christmas party was friday night and as the new male jv, it was my role to emcee the affair. i cracked jokes and made fun of people while leading a few games. musical chairs was a big hit. we also played a game suggested by one of my favorite teachers, pablo, that was like dancing charades. the capper of the games was a race of sorts, in which 4 contestants tie a string around their waist that suspends an empty soda can. participants must move their hips to swing the can in order to move a small object on the ground. sr. monica was the defending champion but lost to the 8th grade teacher, deanna. it wasn't a bad party. before it started i hung out in the cookhouse with some male teachers drinking coconuts and grilling the chicken and fish. i drank 6 coconuts that night. mmm, delicious.

i will be sure to post again soon, describing christmas vacation adventures, of which there may possibly be one. i'm looking forward to reading, playing guitar, walking around, trying to stay out of the rain, and doing laundry.

a change of pace, or, notes of context to better compose a mental picture

I think that there are some things I’ve been leaving out. The goal for this work in progress is for it to consist of little word postcards; self-contained anecdotes that display some facet of my life and activities here. This will be a deviation from the norm. This is be a list.

Here are some things that I really like about the Marshall Islands and/or Assumption:


· The apex of style for the young Marshallese man is a rat-tail.


· The proper way to bid someone adieu is the phrase “Goodnight,” usually with a raised lilt of voice on the last syllable. This is appropriate regardless of the time of day. I can not express how much I enjoy saying “Goodnight!” to people after mass on Sunday mornings.


· The moon on the ocean. Some nights I stay up late grading or lesson planning in the faculty room at Assumption. When I head home, often the moon reflects off the water beautifully and bathes everything in soft silvery light.


· The Marshallese, instead of saying “dang,” or a like expression of frustration, have their own mild curse. I’m not sure of the spelling, but it might be “worwor.” It is pronounced with rolled R’s, “arrrrrrrrr-arrrrrrr” with the first half being longer and the stress on the second half. It sounds a little like a growl and perfectly fits the emotion.


· Instead of nodding, the universal sign of agreement in the Marshall Islands is raised eyebrows. Likewise, shaking of the head is replaced with a sort of “yucky face,” with one end of the mouth pulled down and out. I often do it in conjunction with a headshake.


· To peep on someone, like looking in their window, is called Corned Beefing, after the popular canned meat product.



as an added bonus, here is a picture of me from the Assumption High School Halloween party. I was a chaperone. Dressing in drag is very funny to the Marshallese. please note, that is a wig and not my real hair. thanks.

an exhibitionist, or, "you put that thing away or i'm going to cut it off!"

on my way to teach a freshman english class, there was a small child milling about outside the classroom. the child looked about 3 and was of indiscriminate gender, due to a few dozen yellow rubberbands that coralled its hair into little braid things. i don't know what you would call that. i don't know much about hairstyles. i tried to shoo the child away as i walked into my class and it seemed to work, as the small person turned around toddled off toward the exit.

about 10 minutes into the class, the child was back. it was peeking in the door and then walked in and promptly pulled down its pants. its sex now firmly established, the boy started running around. being immature even for 13-17 year olds, my class was in hysterics. not knowing how i could get this child out without leaving my class (the most unruly in the school) alone, i went to the faculty room next door and got Florence, one of the other teachers to get the kid out. the boy ran into the other freshman classroom, next door, and the teacher in there, Matur helped Florence show the little exhibitionist the nearest exit.

i thought that was the end of it but after the class he was back in the hall, although now his pants were thankfully around his waist. it took a few minutes but i got a firm grip on him (he was pretty slippery and was also not wearing a shirt). he did not want to come with me, so i picked him up like he was a corpse. suprisingly, he didn't squirm all that much. i carried him to the office and layed him on Edna, the outspoken secretary's desk saying, "look what i found in my classrooom." for whatever reason, the child was not moving at this point and Edna fairly shrieked because she thought he was dead or something. he quickly got up off the desk and started dancing around the office. it wasn't long before he pulled down as pants again, at which point another Marshallese woman who works in the office started making menacing gestures at his genitals with a big red scissors. i don't know what she was saying, but i can imagine it was something like, "you put that thing away or i'm gonna cut it off!"

of roofs and rain, or, a wet bedroom

look: theres no roof. yes, that's where my room is.

i'm not sure if this is going to work because everything on this website is in some sort of asian script as opposed to good ol' american english. i'll just try and make due. if it doesn't work, i guess you'll never know, though.

the roof of the jvi house here in the marshall islands has had problems for a long time. for starters, the house is the oldest building on the assumption church and school grounds. it was renovated about 20 years ago but is in a sad state of disrepair now. the only thing that is a major problem is the roof. when it is raining outside, well, it is also raining inside. sometimes it is even raining inside long after the gray clouds have moved on. the problem is isolated to the kitchen/dining room area. while this is a problem when you're trying to eat a meal, it is certainly better than leaks above anyone's bed. also, note that the attic was until recently home to an undetermined number of rats, whose droppings the water percolated through before coming through the cieling. so we're not just talking about water, we're talking about brown rat poop water.

after about a year of requesting help with this problem, the cavalry finally arrived on wednesday in the form of samuel, the maintenance guy. he started out by ripping off a section of the tin roof. what section you ask? naturally the corner of the house that is home to my bedroom. nobody knew he was going to start that day, so i didn't put anything away or make any efforts to perserve things. in the process of removing the existing roof, mass quantities of bits of rotten wood and who knows what else came to litter my bed, chair, desk, and floor. fair enough, not a big problem. messes are a part of fixing things.

the real problem started when samuel hadn't put the new roof on yet and it started to rain. there was brown water running down the walls of my room, dripping from the middle and pooling on the floor, in addition to being absorbed into my mattress. luckily i was able to put some tarps on my bed and carefully stow important documents and belongings inside my big dresser/shelf thing that kept everything dry. there was no real damage, i just have a mess on my hands.

so there was no roof for a few days. relax, there is a roof now. they aren't done working on it but the gaping maw that was over my room has been covered for a day or two. in the meantime i am sleeping at the rectory next door. father rich, the normal resident, is on vacation but will be back this week. he doesn't know i'm staying there. i "borrowed" a few books from his shelves. don't tell him.

i tried to put up a picture of the exposed beams hanging over my room but i can't make heads or tails of this asian script. on the bright side, i have pictures online! check them out: http://picasaweb.google.com/aaronzeleske

*addendum: i put the picture up now!

please hold still, or, i give free haircuts

thursday is my night to cook. since our cupboards were bare of just about all the foods we usually eat (we were even out of the basic elements of food; we drank all the soy sauce and ate all the tarragon!*), it was spaghetti for dinner. i don’t have a problem with spaghetti. it is a simple meal. i set the pot to boil on the stove and was sitting at the kitchen table playing guitar when there was a knock at the door. six small island boys were there asking for water. the kids were from the neighborhood known as small island, which is right next to the church and school property where we live, stop by our house all the time to play with our blocks, read out children’s book and drink our water. i always try to be welcoming to them but sometimes its hard because when it rains small island children, it pours small island children. little voices constantly calling “water? water?” very easily distract from reading. most of the boys who were now at the door just wanted water but there was one who asked if i could give him a haircut. he had clippers and there is an outlet right outside our porch. at first i thought, “what? why is he asking me to cut his hair?” but then i shrugged and said “sure!” i’ve cut my own hair a couple times with clippers and helped cut my old housemate patrick’s hair a few times last year. the boy had shaggy, curly black hair. he took off his shirt and i got down to business. he just wanted it all taken off, so that’s what i did. i even engaged in barbershop banter with him; asking his name, where he goes to school and what grade he was in. his name was eric. i sheared off all the hair and then took off the attachment to clean him up in the back and around the ears. he kept looking down to watch the hair fall to the ground. i kept telling him to look up and hold still. “hold still, eric! hold still!” it wasn’t a bad haircut. i asked if anybody else wanted a trim and another boy said he did, but only the bottom half of his head, like a little bowl cut. i said i would do it and added a nice twist, making the hair on the back of the bowl come down to a little V point. it was tricky to get the V balanced out because he kept squirming around. he might never know about that little flourish, but then again it could just change his life. when i was done with them i went into the house and brought out a mirror so they could see. both eric and the other boy smiled approvingly.
when the boys were leaving i told them to tell all their friends that i would give free haircuts on saturday. i hope that promise doesn’t come back to bite me. i could easily see all of small island lined up outside the house waiting for a trim.



*10 points if you can name the source of that quote

an allegory, or, this morning's sunrise

i woke up this morning to sit and watch God begin the day. i walked about 40 yards behind our house, across the elementary school courtyard and sat on a big rock by the trees next to the cemetary. i was a little disappointed that the Eastern horizon was shadowed with clouds. because of this, the beginning of the sunrise was not as spectacular as i had hoped. i couldn’t see the sun but i could see it brightening the clouds to my right and left with soft shades of pink and orange. these objects in my periphery were made beautiful by the sun, even though i couldn’t see it. then i started to see the sun a little more directly. there was a sort of window between the clouds that was filled with golden light. like the clouds on the periphery, the borders of the box were lit by the sun but much more dramatically. the edges were etched in brilliance, their soft lines cut into diamond edges. finally, only after the sun had made these ordinary clouds things of beauty and majesty did it show itself. it was almost as if i had to see the sun in other things before i could see it directly. once it peeked through, though, it eclipsed all with the power of its light. its brilliance made me cast my eyes down. soon the sun had lit all around. i could see everything. not only that, but clouds that had appeared dark, gray, and ominous before were now shown to be harmless puffy white clouds. the sun had stripped them of their malevolent nature and shown them to be nothing to be feared.

i hoard chalk

there is a definite chalk shortage at assumption high school, here in the lovely marshall islands. its a dog eat dog world out there, survival of the fittest. what does this mean? well, at assumption, teachers rotate to the classes. each class has its own room and the teachers move around. when i am done teaching a class, i clean out the chalk trays. i take every piece i can or i will run out and not be able to write on the board. i hide them in my desk. once someone took chalk out of my desk. i consider this a breach of the rules of the chalk famine. pants pockets and desk drawers should be strictly off limits. sometimes i forget to take the chalk out of my pockets. then i'm stuck walking around with a whole bunch of chalk stumps rattling around in my pocket. this is not a pretty sight.

things are good in majuro. i have read 10 whole books since i left the states. i am over halfway done with Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, which might be my favorite one so far. i have started writing stories and junk. i am playing guitar alot. i am getting up early in the morning to pray and center myself. also, after drinking too much coffee for the first month or so, i decided to give it up for a while. i don't need that stuff to be me!! i haven't had a cup since monday and i am feeling OK with it...althought im not sure how much longer it will last. i am feeling like a real teacher. i even refer to myself as such to my students: "now, if you have any questions, you're in luck. this is biology class. i am a biology teacher. so i might be able to help you."

the feast of the assumption, or, sister act

"and now, to close our feast day mass, the youth choir will favor us with the 'ave maria.'"

the first verse is traditional enough, but then theres a lull after it. shannon and i look at each other "they aren't really going to....they aren't going to....oh yes they are!"

oh yes they did. as is true of more than a few occasions in the month (holy crap!) i've been here, i could not stop smiling. the full on sister act version of the hymn was complete with the high "oh-oh-oh" part sung by the little red haired nun-in-training and the low "sanctus santuses" of the older sistas. majuro never ceases to surprise with little flashes of colour.*

a week later we listened to the version from the film using shannon's ipod and speakers (white priveledge, i know...simple living?) and sang along. there were some kids who were playing behind our house and some of them peeped in the window...one of them gave an "AMEN!" after it was over.

as it is september a mass e-mail will find its way to inboxes the world over sometime soon
hugs,
aaron

*thats right, i spell it the british way.

disregard my alarm clock, or, the sounds that wake me up

the sounds that gently beckon me from sleep are 2 of the most beautiful sounds in the whole world. here they are, in no particular order:

1) the soft static of the pacific as its infinite waves lap against coral

2) the laughter of children

shake my head and smile, or, absurdity

in the past week, i have been increasingly aware of a certain absurdity that cloaks everything. (if thats not a blanket statement, i don't know what is) in america, this absurdity takes the form of people trying to fill a spiritual or emotional hole with things never meant to fill them. posessions won't make you any more aware and celebratory of your true nature as a human being then pouring alcohol down your gullet will. i mean absurdity not in a rude way, "thats simply absurd!" but in a when-you-really-think-about-it, it-makes-you-chuckle-and-shake-your-head kinda way. the thought that being happy starts anywhere but inside us is sad. it makes me want to sign.

the absurdity here is different. it stems from the fact that we are all here, living on coral gorwn on the rim of a submerged volcano a couple thousand miles from the nearerst real land. why is this place here? how have people been living on it for more than 2,000 years? what made it worth settling? its a precarious place to live, without the size to support large-scale agriculture or populations of large food animals. the absurdity is that it is here, that it is home to 60,000 souls and, even more, that i'm here. i step out of my classroom, turn one way and see the bright blue lagoon, and turn the other and see the deeper sapphire of the pacific. all i can do is smile and shake my head; shake my head and smile.

a beautiful moment at 30,000 ft, welcome to the next 2 years, and getting up to date

“what the eff am i doing?”
“by the hammer of thor, where am i?”
“great scott, what was i thinking?”
these thoughts and more were tangled like noodles in my skull as i flew from honolulu to majuro; the last leg of my journey to the marshall islands. i had just popped the ear phones from the in-flight movie from my ears and turned to the window next to me. there were thin, gauzy clouds above and fat, puffy ones below. there were white dots in the ocean far below that I thought were maybe fish or dolphins, but they were everywhere so i decided they must be the sun glinting off the tips of waves. my lost feelings were not soothed by the blue and white, however. then i spied, coming from the bottom of one of the low flying puffy clouds a rainbow. a rainbow. a rainbow going straight down from the cloud to the ocean. a small rainbow. i remembered God’s deal with Noah, that God would not abandon God’s people. my thoughts quickly raced from that story to whatever psalm or psalms talk about how God does not forsake God’s people. i belong to God. God will not let me perish. i trust in God and God has my back. let nothing and no one stand in my way!! (these are a bit out of character for me to think, if you know my spirituality…maybe i’ve been spending too much time in catholic volunteer programs)

nothing stood in my way as i descended the stair to the ground of the majuro atoll of the marshall islands. it was hot but not as hot as i was readying myself for. it smelled weird but not as weird as i thought it might. it was dirty but not as filthy as i thought it could be. the two second year members of my jvi community were there to meet me and the two other first years. mike and emily, meet shannon, bridget, and aaron. this is the marshall islands jvi community for the next 10 months. we’re what happens when 5 substances collide.

that first night, mike and emily drove us to the other end of the island to have a sunset picnic. i put pictures of it up on my photos link, which i have endeavored to set up. hope it works for ya. the next days and days have been spent getting acclimated to the island. our house is what it is supposed to be; a house in the third world. its neither clean nor particularly filthy. it is simple and adequate. i don’t think many would call it comfortable. but it is walls and a roof and serves its purpose.

this week has been full of preparing for school, which starts monday, august 13. i will be teaching two classes of freshman english and 2 classes of sophomore biology. i am also in charge of a freshman homeroom. assumption high school has a strange way of getting ready for the school year. every day there were to be meetings at 9 am. we head over more or less on time (the school is about 30 yards from the house). we wait. and wait. and wait. after maybe an hour and a half, someone will declare that the meeting has been cancelled or moved to the next day. this happened 3 of the 5 days this week.

in the interest of not writing a novel, i will close by saying that i am safe and healthy. well, except for the urinary infection that i incurred on monday. blood was coming out somewhere it wasn’t supposed to. not a lot, just a little. I saw the doctor. before giving me the pills that cleared it up in no time he made sure to ask the following question several times: “have you been using the women? it’s very important. have you been using the women?”

see you soon

you can't spell Camden without end...or dance

today is my last day of work. it has been a good year and in spite of the challenges, it has been a good placement. the relationships i formed with the residents here have been the best part. from the sweet ones to the cranky ones, they have made this job what it was.

the past few weeks have been a flurry of activity; i have been about as stressed as i ever get. i'm not really nervous, but more preoccupied with all the loose ends to tie before i leave, and there are many. i have a list that i've been slowly making my way through...two lists actually: one, things to do; one, people to talk to. i'm afraid the more important list, composed of human relationships, is the more time consuming by far.

although it is hard to leave camden and my community here, there is a great feeling building as well; a feeling of kindred spirits spread out across the globe. it is comforting, easy, and a great thing indeed to be surrounded by those you love. however, it is also good to feel a part of a great network, knowing that you have friends all over and that when you are lucky enough to share time, a meal, a cup of coffee with them you can reconnect with what brought you together in the first place.

people ask how i'm feeling about all this. i feel alot of things. i feel sad to leave camden and my community. i feel excited to start something new. i feel a little nervous because i have no idea what to expect besides shapeless challenges. i feel at peace with not having a clue what to expect. i feel lucky to have the support of so many loving friends and family. i feel humbled by the same. i feel torn between the great needs that exist right here in camden and the call i feel to serve in another culture. i could go on...

tomorrow we are hosting a bbq and party at the house as a last hurrah of sorts. sunday is my birthday. monday i have the whole day to do some last minute preparations. tuesday a new chapter begins.

my tooth fell out while i was eating a panini yesterday. don't worry, i put it back. the tooth. not the panini.

how to feed the fish

i set this up today. it is a big responsibility...like a goldfish. the more you feed it, the bigger it gets and the more food it wants. if you don't feed it, it dies. if you feed it the right amount, it neither dies nor demands too much from you.

this blog is a goldfish.